Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
