I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What a dumb baby whore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
