Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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