at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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