Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
