Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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