You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize