You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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