Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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