Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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