I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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