There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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