Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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