Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
