Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
