Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
