wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How does one acquire holy water?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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