i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
