I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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