just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
