I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
