Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
