is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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