So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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