i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
