Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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