i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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