I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
