I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize