oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
