South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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