I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
