me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just shotgunned beers for America
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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