thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
