why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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