a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
