just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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