I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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