If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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