There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
