he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
