The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
