Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
