there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
