Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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