just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
