My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
