Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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