As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
