I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
