I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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