Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
