Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
