Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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