Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
