the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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