As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
