I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Alive.
So much puke
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
