Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
