He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
