I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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