I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
