Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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