I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
