Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to calm my uterus...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
