Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
vagina is talking i cant
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
