WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
