Screwed.edu
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
